Monday Series #15 – Patterns

Posted on Posted in Monday series

In this week’s Monday stories we have Miranda Sofe Nelson (again!), a beauty I unfortunately haven’t met yet, but have had a very amusing Skype conversation with recently. Miranda was kind enough to become a Monday motivator in this small Internet corner dedicated to beating the hell out of Monday syndrome. She is so positive, I’ve decided to make space for her advices in two separate weeks, and now it’s time for week #2! Amanda comes from Billings, Montana and is a twenty-something dreamer and a storyteller.  Let’s see what she had to say!

 

”I learned a thousand tidbits during this time that helped me not only in my breakup recovery but with all my “Monday Blues” since. I wish I could share them all, but I’ll keep it short. This is what sticks out to me most:

 

event-thought-emotion-response
 

I know this is highly formulaic, but if you’re a note-taker like me this, when understood, can be just as inspirational as any quote on the internet. Think about it this way:

1.      Every time we experience an emotion, it is a result of this pattern. Each emotion is triggered by a thought, which is triggered by an event, or something that happens to us.
2.      We are romantic creatures that are largely ruled by our emotions. The stupid thing about this is that our emotions are not within our control. Don’t worry, though. There’s a way in which we can manipulate the emotions so that we aren’t helpless.
3.      While we have no control over our emotions, we do have control over our thoughts. And since our emotions are ruled by our thoughts, gaining control over our thoughts will give us some control over our emotions as well (This is why “just be happy” is less productive than working to have a good attitude. Trying to be happy focuses on your emotions, while trying to change your attitude focuses on the thoughts that cause those emotions.)
4.      Our thoughts can happen very quickly, without us even recognizing. So sometimes the first step in conquering a bad feeling is recognizing the thought that caused that bad feeling.
5.      Once you’ve recognized the thought, the next step is to decide whether or not the thought is rational or irrational. In my case, for example, the event was my boyfriend breaking up with me. That event triggered the thought “nobody loves me,” which triggered the emotion of sadness and despair. However, If I go back and reanalyze the thought, it changes from “nobody loves me” to “he doesn’t love me” which brings emotions that are still sad, but maybe a little less sad.
6.      Sometimes, your thought is rational and it still makes you sad. In that case, it’s good to remember that you are still in control of your reaction, and the best thing to do is work on healthy coping mechanisms like working out, reading, meditating, the like. Give it time! Time is said to heal all things.

It may not seem super inspirational on the surface, but implying this has changed my life. I hope it can change yours too!”

 

If you have a story you’d like to motivate others with, feel free to e-mail me: aidahodzic1994@gmail.com.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.