Monday Story #31 – Obsessions

Posted on Posted in Monday series

New day, new opportunity. New Monday, new Monday story.

This week’s storyteller is also going to be our next week’s storyteller as well, simply because his story is so rich and I really didn’t want to cut it short and keep any of those untold. His name is Yusuf Göç and he’s an engineer student here in Ankara.

Let’s hear his story.

 

Yusuf-Goc

 

 

”When I think of feeling low, all I can think of is feeling alone. And I believe this feeling of loneliness is what happens when I lose control over my feelings. What I mean is losing the connection with that one thing or person I’m kind of addicted to. For example, I remember this one time when I lost connection to someone very important to me. The feeling of not being able to establish any kind of contact made me feel so indigent. I really didn’t know what to do because getting in touch was really impossible. I believe I learned the meaning of the word ‘forget’ then, for the first time in my life.

I hated that feeling of addiction. The feeling of having a weak chest. And then I realized it evolved into an obsession. I couldn’t really follow my classes. Even though it was the thought of my future that was keeping me partially present in the day. I unburdened myself with music, my guitar, poetry. And no matter how obsessed I was, it helped me realize that there is nobody in this world you can’t forget. It doesn’t matter if you see her in your dreams a zillion times, there is truth in that famous ‘’Out of sight, out of mind’’ quote. Once you decide to erase them, they are indeed gone. And that’s exactly what happened in my case.

It’s important to remember that nobody is perfect, and there are many struggles in life to fight. That is why making one single person so meaningful and putting her in a position of a drug is not reasonable. It doesn’t make sense. There are many people out there that are, or will be, important for us. I figured all these during those dark periods. And promised myself I won’t ever let anyone or anything become equivalent to the fresh air coming from outside or the peace felt while asleep.”

 

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