Monday Series #22 – A believer

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New day, new opportunity. New Monday, new Monday story.

This week’s Monday motivator is one of my colleagues, one of the people I see in classes (almost) every day. Her name is Eylem, which literally means action/activity in Turkish. Just like some here in Turkey tend to say, there are people who ”live” their names, aka people whose names are at the same time their characteristics. Eylem is definitely one of them. She’s very active, communicative and loud (and I mean this in a good way). She’s one of those who stand up for their thoughts, opinions or herself in general. That is why I wanted to listen to her story. And she, once again, showed how everyone faces certain problems in their life. Furthermore, these problems are generally similar to each other. So, lets see what her story is about!

 

eylem-bozkurt

 

”Everything starts with thoughts. Sometimes you don’t feel ok. You feel sad, hopeless or scared. You fear the future. You fear the past. And because of all these fears you can’t live the present. That’s how I feel. I have all these problems and questions in my head. I don’t know what I am doing, or what I should do. I feel like I’m in a gigantic empty space and it’s strangling me. I’m fighting myself. I am my own enemy. I can see only my imperfections. And this way I am doing the worst thing one can do to himself. Every time I take a look at the mirror, the only thing I see are my imperfections, my flaws. It’s hard to say why I feel this way. I just can’t stop it. It’s like a one-way road: there isn’t really a way out. I don’t really know where it will take me. I’m running away. From people, from myself.

I know I need to pull myself together. Living this way is tiring me. I don’t love myself. Sometimes I even ask myself ‘’Why does one even live?’’ I think one lives to love. Furthermore, I think one that hasn’t loved hasn’t really lived. He/She has only been breathing: inhaling and exhaling. As if he/she was just an object. And that’s the reason why we fear death. Because we don’t know how to live in the first place. We aren’t aware of how valuable one moment is. We lock ourselves up in prison cells and we’re doomed there. Because there’s no hope inside us. No hope for getting out. And yet if we were to take a look at any place in the universe, we’d see there is hope everywhere. There’s happiness everywhere. But people put barriers. The moment you say ‘’I cannot’’ is the moment you really cannot. I feel like I have an infinite strength, I can feel it. I have a bright mind. When I really do want something, then nothing can stop me. For example, I wanted to feel loved, so I loved first. I wanted to feel happy, so I helped someone who needed help. I wanted to have friends, so I started talking to people. I wanted to have fun, so I made jokes with my friends. I wanted a change, so I firstly changed myself.

Yes, sometimes things go bad in life. And our mind gets filled with ‘’bad’’. But these all happen so that we can understand the value of ‘’good’’. There are many surprises in life. Sometimes when we think everything has come to an end, something happens and starts it all over again. Because life is like a marathon. We sometimes lose and then sometimes win. But we don’t know how the marathon is going to end. Well, at least I haven’t been to the future and seen what’s going to happen. That’s why when I look at the mirror, I feel proud of myself. Because I’m alive. And I don’t give place to people who make me feel bad in my life, but only to the ones who love and support me. And I understand it is feelings and thoughts that shape our lives. Good thoughts attract good events, right?”

 

 

If you have a story you’d like to motivate others with, feel free to e-mail me: aidahodzic1994@gmail.com.

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